Another One Third Has Passed (4)

One year is already passed. One year that I promised myself to be celibate. One year I let my ownself to grieve and mourn.

Some people who know about this maybe thinking that I am overreacting this. But, another group of people who really know about me, they'll know I lost one of the love I love the most.

Losing it makes me have to change some things in my life. I change the way I eat. I go workout. I try to walk around my city more often. I realize again that I can stand by my ownself. I don't take my friends' time to meet me for granted. I learn that things don't always turn the way I want it. I learn there are some broken things which can't always be fixed, and that's okay..

One year has passed and I am so relieved I can go through with it. I thank God and all people who helped me, giving so much support I need. I don't regret anything. I don't hate anyone in these process. I realize it's happened for the best for me.

Suropati Park Bench, the place where one year ago I found that fact

Over and over again, I have to learn to have peace with my ownself. That not getting what I want sometimes is a wonderful is a wonderful stroke of luck (quote by Dalai Lama). To have peace is not to forget we have feelings, but turning it off slowly by allowing ourselves to dive into those emotions. To experienced them fully and completely, so we know exactly how it feels and how to conquer it.

It's kind of funny if I look back to the previous writings about this One Third.

At August 2016 (link)

At December 2016 (link)

At March 2017 (link)

I hope I can always treasure this wonderful feeling somewhere in my heart. I hope I can always be friend with him, because for me, he is one of the important person who shaping the person I am until now. Seven one third years is not a short time. But now is the time for me to look forward to another future with someone else.. :")

See you when I see you..

Sampai nanti, sampai kita bertemu kembali..

With you, a scene in the railway station or airport come more often. Usually I feel nothing really matter. This time, the waiting moment really hit me. Call me exaggerating this, but I can't wait to see you in the next few weeks :)

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Mercusuar by Kunto Aji
Lirik dari www.wowkeren.com (link)




Dari yang sudah sudah
Cinta hanyalah bualan
Dari yang sudah sudah
Hanya rasa tanpa tujuan

Aku ingin berhenti
Lelah aku mengarungi
Aku ingin bersandar
Menikmati bintang berpijar

Uuuu sampai nanti
Sampai kita bertemu kembali
Uuuu sampai nanti
Cahayamu menuntunku lagi

Jangkar sudah terjatuh
Aku sudah benar benar luluh

Yang aku lihat terang
Yang kulihat masa depan
Hangat dalam dekapan
Aku merasa sedang pulang

Uuuu sampai nanti
Sampai kita bertemu kembali
Uuuu sampai nanti
Cahayamu menuntunku lagi

Jangkar sudah terjatuh
Aku sudah benar benar luluh

Kapalku tlah bersauh
Aku tak ingin jauh
Padamulah aku akan berlabuh

Uuuu sampai nanti
Sampai kita bertemu kembali
Uuuu sampai nanti
Cahayamu menuntunku lagi

Jangkar sudah terjatuh
Aku sudah benar benar luluh

Dari yang sudah sudah
Hanya kaulah arti rumah

P.s. I really like the short movie in the youtube video. But it makes me can't concentrate hearing the lyrics and music. Rio Dewanto sure a great actor portraying the story :)

P.s.s. Thank you Liza to introduced me to this great song :))

June 2017 Update

Akhirnya semuanya selesaiiiii lalalalalala~

Intensif, privat, ngetik buku 120an halaman untuk materi tahun ajaran depan..

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah..

Sekarang sudah masuk ke 10 hari terakhir bulan Ramadhan. Beberapa waktu ini juga mendapatkan kabar dari siswa-siswa yang saya ajar. Ada yang bersyukur telah diterima di jurusan dan PTN impian, tapi masih ada yang masih harus bersabar dan berjuang setelah lebaran nanti.

Senang juga beberapa urusan untuk acara ke depan sudah beres sekian persen. Belum seluruhnya, tapi dicicil lah ya pelan-pelan. Mohon doanya semoga semuanya bisa dilancarkan.. 🙏